


i don't want to wake up on my own anymore

by noahczerns



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5517509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahczerns/pseuds/noahczerns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I already told you. You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” Adam said, trying his best to hold his nerves.</p>
<p>Ronan’s gaze flicked between Adam’s face and his hand wrapped around his arm. He was tense beneath Adam’s fingers. “Are you sure?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't want to wake up on my own anymore

**Author's Note:**

> lil christmas gift to my girlfriend courty i hope u have a wonderful christmas & all that jazz i love u !!!! (even though u text like a straight white boy and call me a loser :/)

Adam had been expecting to hear the knock at the door, but it still surprised him a little. He had been so absorbed in his studying that he barely took notice of the things around him. Rubbing his eyes, he got up to answer the door, almost tripping over the leg of his chair. He was glad the door was still closed so no one had witnessed his almost-fall. The distance between his desk and the door was miniscule, and he reached it with one step. Pulling the handle with his right hand, the door swung inwards towards him. In the door frame, stood Ronan. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, and the only evidence that it was winter outside was the beanie he wore on his shaved head. Otherwise, he was still wearing the same version of the black tank top he wore all summer. Adam couldn’t figure out how Ronan rarely felt the cold; he added it to the list of things that he would probably never know about him but wanted to find out.

“Hey,” Adam said, stepping aside so that Ronan could come into the apartment. The combination of two tall boys and a small apartment usually meant that they were always within touching distance of each other. Adam’s throat hitched when he felt Ronan’s breath on his face. He took a step backwards to widen the gap between them.

Ronan looked at the clock hanging on the wall and then at the textbooks still lying on Adam’s desk. “You’re _still_  studying? Jesus, Parrish. I know that school’s important to you, but sleep is important too.” He turned his gaze back to Adam and raised an eyebrow.

Adam waved a hand in the direction of the clock in dismissal. “I have a test tomorrow. I have to.” He pulled himself away from Ronan’s glare and sat back down at the desk. “Anyway, I sleep more than you do.”

Ronan followed him to the desk and rested his elbows on the hard surface, placing his chin in his hands. He positioned himself so that he was on Adam’s right side. “That’s not the point.”

“It _is_  the point. Practice what you preach.” Adam smirked, scribbling down notes from his textbook. Normally his handwriting was pristine and every letter was clear and neat. Now, his handwriting had become scrawled as his eyes drooped and he fought back a yawn. He put his other hand over his mouth to conceal his body betraying him.

Ronan rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll go to sleep if you do.“ He slacked his arms so that they were lying flat on the desk, his chin still nestling between them. Adam stared down at him, his hand stopped moving for a second as he considered the deal.

“I can’t.” Adam decided, his hand returning to its usual motion across the page. Ronan sighed dramatically. “Don’t look at me like that. You said it yourself; school’s important. You sleep, I study.” 

Ronan gave one last plea, but he knew how stubborn Adam was. He got up and drifted to the place on the floor next to Adam’s bed where he usually slept. He laid down and looked at Adam through the corner of his eye.

Adam turned around, “You can sleep on the bed, you know.”

“I’m fine here.”

“Sleep on the bed.” Adam said sternly, he tapped his pen on the edge of his chair and the sound echoed faintly in the brief silence.

“Fine, Parrish. Jesus.” Ronan stood up and tentatively set himself down on the bed. It was more comfortable than he had expected, considering how old the mattress was. The scent of Adam was inescapable. Ronan tried to ignore it, but he failed miserably.

Adam turned back to his work and smoothed down the paper in front of him. He was almost certain that Ronan was staring at him from the bed, but he dismissed it to be his own paranoia. He read the words over and over again, yet they slipped away from him. It was, as Adam found out, extremely difficult to concentrate on Latin verbs when Ronan Lynch was lying on your bed. He brought the top of his pen to his mouth and bit down on the lid. The plastic cracked and an array of pen lid pieces scattered around his mouth. He sighed and carefully took them out and tossed them into the trash.

Another yawn escaped his mouth and this time, he wasn’t quick enough to catch it.

“I told you! You need to sleep.” Ronan said, his voice slightly muffled by the duvet. He shuffled his body around to get off the bed.

“I said I’m fine,” Adam reminded him, ignoring the droopiness of his eyelids and the third yawn that broke up his sentence. “Go to sleep.”

Ronan’s feet hit the floor and he wandered the short distance over to Adam. “Come _on_ , Parrish.”

“No.” Even though he was moments away from dropping off, he didn’t refrain from being stubborn.

“You’ll do better on the test if you sleep.”

Adam wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He knew that Ronan was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. He fiddled with the edge of his textbook. “You’d do better if you studied _at all_.”

“Who even said I’m going to take the test? Don’t change the subject.” Ronan placed his hand on Adam’s chair, millimetres from his shoulder. Adam stared intently forwards, forcing himself not to let his gaze slip towards the direction of Ronan’s hand.

Adam sighed and said nothing. There was no use in convincing Ronan to do something school-related, or anything that he didn’t want to do. He continued fiddling with the fragile, close to tearing pages of his textbook.

“Adam,” Ronan breathed. His voice was quiet and gentler than the usual, his sharpness softened in Adam’s presence.

Adam bit his lower lip as he chewed over the consequences. He still hadn’t gotten the hang of some of the verbs which would lose him some points tomorrow, but being unconscious for 5 hours was more than he would normally be and it was enticing. He dragged his hand through his tangled hair, messed up by the day that had passed. “Okay, I’ll sleep. It’s your fault if I flunk the test tomorrow.”

“Glad to see you’ve finally come to your senses.” The corners of Ronan’s mouth turned up into a grin. He twisted around to return to his usual spot next to Adam’s bed, but he was stopped by a firm grip on his forearm.

“I already told you. You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” Adam said, trying his best to hold his nerves.

Ronan’s gaze flicked between Adam’s face and his hand wrapped around his arm. He was tense beneath Adam’s fingers. “Are you sure?”

Adam nodded slowly and slackened his hold on Ronan. “The floor can’t be that comfortable, anyway.” He laughed nervously, _it’s just Ronan_ , he told himself. Over and over. Except that was part of the problem; this _was_ Ronan. The boy he had been sneaking glances at for weeks now, the boy who held mice to his cheek to feel their heartbeat, the boy who gave him hand lotion, the boy who never asked for anything in return.

Adam was almost certain that he knew what Ronan’s feelings were to him, and perhaps that was why this invitation felt so dangerous. He was laying out his emotions bare, and if he was wrong about Ronan, he couldn’t take them back. He swallowed, leaving the offer hanging in the air.

Ronan’s face was distorted as if he were trying to work out Adam’s true intentions. His shoulders slumped, and he muttered an “All right, then.” and made his way to the bed; Adam noticed a bead of sweat slowly sailing down the back of his neck. Adam swallowed, all of his confidence he had maintained whilst asking the question was slipping away from him now that he was faced with the reality. He followed Ronan to the bed, where Ronan was pulling the duvet across so that he could slide in. Ronan laid down on the right side of the bed, so close to the edge that he gripped the underside to prevent himself from falling off. Adam rolled his eyes.

Adam joined him shortly, leaving slightly more room between him and the drop to the floor. Ronan was facing the wall, leaving his tattoo fully in Adam’s view. He had seen it many times before, but never this close. He realised that Ronan had probably not even seen it this close, except perhaps in dreams, but he wasn’t sure that would really count. His hand hovered in the distance between them, desperate to touch the delicate design, yet he lacked the courage in the end. He let his hand fall, his fingertips brushing Ronan’s skin lightly on the way down. Ronan’s shiver faintly reached his senses. Adam inched closer, pressing his thighs to the backs of Ronan’s. He heard a sharp intake of breath from Ronan, but there was no malicious protest. This filled Adam with the bravery he needed to make the final step, now that he knew Ronan was perfectly contented, if somewhat nervous.

He draped his arm across Ronan’s chest and searched for his hand. It was an extremely short search as Ronan grabbed it, a little more forcefully than intended, as soon as it appeared in his field of vision. Adam laced their fingers together, elated at the feeling of Ronan rubbing his thumb along his. He smiled against Ronan’s shoulder, and gently pressed a kiss onto his shoulder blade.

It was almost summer in Henrietta, and Adam couldn’t afford a fan so it soon grew unbearably warm in the bed they shared. Neither of the boys made an effort to move, except to remove the thin duvet that had begun to stick to them.

Despite the heat, they both slept better than they normally would. Adam found that his dreams fared no feature of his father, and when Ronan woke he actually looked rested; his eyes didn’t look at all sunken but bright.

Ronan was the first to wake, and he turned himself around so that he could witness Adam’s sleeping form. There was only one window in Adam’s apartment, and the light flooding in from it managed to hit his face perfectly. Ronan pushed away a few stray damp hairs across Adam’s forehead, and Adam’s eyelids fluttered. He blinked himself awake, slightly shocked to see Ronan so close to him.

“Morning,” Adam whispered, his voice groggy. He closed his eyes and yawned, his morning breath washing all over Ronan.

“Gross. You need to brush your teeth.” Ronan groaned, wrinkling his nose. 

Adam smiled, his eyes remained closed. “Thanks.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss on Ronan’s still wrinkled nose. This caught Ronan by surprise; his eyes widened and he remained silent for a moment. Adam thought that maybe he had taken it too far, too fast. “Sorry, I, uh, forget I did that.” he said hurriedly.

Ronan blinked and slowly extended his hand to cup Adam’s face. “No, no. It’s fine. You’re fine.”

“I’m _fine_ , am I?” Adam asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ronan rolled his eyes, but he didn’t take his hand away from Adam’s cheek. “Don’t you have a test today? You know, the one you were studying for last night?”

“Fuck, I do.” Adam squirmed his way out of Ronan’s grip and quickly threw on the closest clothes he could find, the exact ones he wore yesterday. Ronan stayed laying in the bed, resting his chin on his hand as he watched Adam rush to gather his things.

“Good luck.” Ronan called as Adam made his way towards the door. Adam turned and smiled at him, before dropping his bag on the floor and heading back to the bed. He knelt on the edge and leaned in to Ronan’s face. Placing a hand on Ronan’s unclothed shoulder to pull him closer, Adam pressed their lips together. It was rushed so their noses bumped together, but neither of them were bothered.

Adam pulled away, “I’ll see you later.”

“Y – Yeah,” Ronan stuttered.  He watched as Adam ran out of the door, picking his bag back up on the way. He couldn’t wait for him to come back.

 


End file.
